As my relationship with Christ began to deepen, I became more aware of sins I had once dismissed.
Things I had explained away as “not a big deal” began to trouble me. I thought about choices I had made knowingly, and I wondered how God could forgive all of it.
Even after confessing, I sometimes continued carrying the guilt.
I believed in God’s forgiveness. Learning to accept it personally was another part of my walk.
The moment beside the crucifix
During a Divine Mercy Encounter retreat, Fr. Larry went up to a large crucifix and asked whether we believed what Christ had done on the Cross.
I said yes.
That question reached something in me. If I believed Christ had given Himself for our sins—all our sins—why was I continuing to carry guilt for sins I had confessed and been forgiven for?
I needed to trust that His mercy reached me, too.
Taking forgiveness seriously
I had spent years minimizing my sins by comparing myself with others. Now I was learning to take responsibility for them.
But alongside that responsibility, I needed to take God’s forgiveness seriously.
The Catechism describes reconciliation as restoring us to God’s grace and joining us to Him in friendship. His mercy gives us a real reason for hope.
It also teaches that there are no limits to God’s mercy, while calling us to receive that mercy through repentance.
My past choices do not place me beyond His invitation to return.
Remembering with a different response
Forgiveness does not make the harm of sin unimportant. I still need to change, make amends where possible, and cooperate with God’s grace.
The Church teaches that repairing harm belongs within our response to forgiveness.
But remembering a forgiven sin can also become an occasion for thanksgiving.
I can acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and thank Christ for the mercy that allows me to move forward. Lingering feelings of shame do not measure the reality of His forgiveness.
Still learning gratitude
I still sometimes carry guilt or shame longer than I should. That part of my story is ongoing.
But I work on gratitude more than I ever did.
I want the crucifix to remind me of the depth of His love and the forgiveness He offers. When I remember my failures, I want to remember His mercy, too.
“Thank You for forgiving me. Help me receive that gift—and live differently because of it.”